Ultimate Price

10 Feb, 2012 - 8:24 am

Hi All,

I think I have paid the ultimate price for a CH Sufferer, after 10 years with my wife she has decided that we need to Seperate. I am hoping that after the next surgery things will get back to normal and we can sort everything out. The good thing is that our 2 girls are staying with me. My eldest who is 9 has been helping with the injections, she is able to push the plunger down for me. Now all i need to do is get her to put the actual needle into my butt. I can do it in my bottom but it is quite difficult and my arms have too much scar tissue from using them all the time. I need to get he to use my BUTT for them now.

My wife said that she will still come to my appointments and take me to hospital when i go in but unfortunately she will be staying at least 30 mins away. The CH's weren't the only reason for the split but it is the main contributing factor. I can understand where she is coming from, it's not easy for anybody who is the supporter of a CH patient but it was something that i was not expecting. We will try to work it out but with my surgery coming up some time soon i need to be stress free so as not to become ill in some way because they will not do the surgery and i will have to wait even longer.

I can't keep up with the high doses of Opiates that i am on and when i do stop the withdrawal is going to be hell as i have done it before, i will keep you informed as to what is going on.

Matt
Silent Planet

0 people like this

11 Feb, 2012 - 3:11 am

Hi Matt,
i notice a number of people have viewed your post yet no one has replyed. my guess is like me, they dont know what to say. this is a shit of a condition to have, and would put a strain on any relationship. i am no longer in a relationship, partly due to CH. although i have had the oppertunity to be in relationships, i choose not to be. this is just my view, i am disdressed enough when i am going through a bout. i deleberatley withdraw from family and friends, as i dont want to cause distress to those i love. i hope your surgery goes well. the fact that you wife is still willing to take you to appointments etc, to me says a lot.
i sincerley hope you and your wife can sort things out.

kim

0 people like this

13 Feb, 2012 - 1:49 pm

Dear Matt
I returned home yesterday and have been reticent in opening up clusterheadaches.com. I would have stayed quiet until I read your post.
I am so sorry to hear of your seperation from your wife. There is so little that I can say that could possibly give you any help during what now must be an even harder time for you. Knowing your wife remains a support for you during your operation, and that your girls are with you will be your main stay I am sure. Matt, maintain your strength, hidden beneath it your determination to control your beast; allow yourself time to be sad--apportion no blame. Keep the communication channels well open and allow your wife time of her own.
My thoughts are with you
Heather

0 people like this

13 Feb, 2012 - 2:57 pm

Kim and Heather,

Thank you for your kind words, at the moment i am hopefull that we will get back together sometime in the future. Things are very hard at the moment but as you have said i have my girls and the support of my wife. I am in a dark place at the moment and wish i could pull myself out of it, It is not helping my head at the moment. I have increased most of my meds to levels that a normal person would never be able to handle and still they have not much effect on me. I sometimes wonder if my family would be better off without me, if I left and delt with the beast on my own as so not to drag my family through the crap that we put up with all the time. I know that my wife sufferes just as much as i do and it's not fair on them to have to go through this crap with me all the time.

Will keep you all updated as to what happens next in this life long saga that we deal with and call our life.

Matt

0 people like this

13 Feb, 2012 - 4:18 pm

Dear Matt
You will be OK, I have confidence in your capacity to get through this as just one of the many stages you face.
Heather

0 people like this

20 Feb, 2012 - 3:28 am

Hi Matt, very sorry to hear this.
As Kim said, it's hard to know what to say at such times, except I hope it all comes right for you and your wife.
Best wishes,
Peter.

0 people like this

09 Mar, 2012 - 3:02 pm

Hi all,

I am happy to say at the moment we are trying to work things out, Sarah has said that she will be around for my surgery, I lost my mother last Thursday and she has been a tower of strength with her passing.

I would also like to thatk my kids for the strength that they have shown in this hard time.

Matt
Silent Planet

0 people like this

09 Mar, 2012 - 4:05 pm

Oh Matt--I am so sorry. My sympathy at the loss of your Mother.
I am pleased that you have the support of Sarah and your children.
Heather

0 people like this

09 Mar, 2012 - 4:51 pm

Very sorry too Matt
Take care and all the best with the surgery
Sara

0 people like this